Eleanor Lawrie, Author

HOW MY LIFE STARTED OVER AT THE AGE OF 70

I’m beginning to think that too many of us as we age can begin to suffer from some form of depression. The end of our lives is approaching; there’s no denying it once we are in our seventies and older.

I’m no psychotherapist but I have experienced a slow drop into my own depression over several years brought on by a few things that happened.

Life was just ticking along very contentedly, and I was busy. Even though I was no longer a member of the local Symphony (that’s another very interesting story that I’ll bring here soon), I had a full week of private students coming to our home. I mainly taught flute, as that was always my primary instrument, playing professionally since the age of 19. Later I added piano and then recorder, so that gave me lots of variety.

I was also playing weddings and small programs with two long-time partners, also dear friends, one a harpist and the other a classical guitarist. Then after coping with cancer for about a year my harpist died, so that partnership came to an end. I still miss her, we were Scrabble mates too! We both loved the Upwards version. I played several jobs with my classical guitar partner that summer.

Then in October of 2006, at the age of 63 I had a heart attack. During the period of recovery my back became a real pain issue. I began teaching again, but the back pain was really getting in the way.

When months went by with the same level of pain, my teaching became a thing of the past, and it was no longer easy to play my flute, so the weddings and other jobs also diminished to almost nothing.

By the time I was 66, life was no longer the same as it had been for all those years. I didn’t know how to fight the pain and wasn’t getting answers, so my active days became a distant memory and a lot of time was spent in bed, really beginning to feel sorry for myself.

Inspiration comes from very surprising quarters at times. Learning of a close friend’s experience with stage fright that threatened a future of performing on the world stage, and how that was overcome, changed everything.

I decided to try stronger medications, slowly narrowing it down to what worked without overdosing. I still use the same pills, but monitor very carefully. I keep a calendar and make a note of every dose, then I tally it at the end of each month.

But the most exciting and amazing was the treatment for my mind that I received at the Musicians’ Clinic, with Dr John Chong and Dr McMillan. I learned how to think properly with their help, a simple clip on one ear monitoring my heart rate variations. It’s break-through work, and it changed my life. http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2012/07/10/torontoarea_doctor_urges_injured_musicians_to_speak_out.html The knowledge that I can control my brain rather than letting it control me was so enabling and surprisingly normal. So much has been discovered about brain function. The most simplistic way of explaining is that if a brain is constantly told negative things it will function negatively. Sending and even vocalising positive thoughts allows the brain to tell and teach the body positive things. It’s a computer that operates on what it is fed.

The other important aid is my wonderful chiropractor, Dr Tracy Drynan. Her hands are magic, her mind knows my inner body and everything about it. With her touch every 3 weeks, I can do most of what I want to do.

I also read Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. And took it to heart in all seriousness. You have to believe in changing, believe you CAN change. Many people refuse to try, are not able to enter into the state of discovery and willingness that is needed. http://www.louisehay.com/

My 70^th birthday was when I started over, feeling positive and renewed, full of joy for the simple things in life. In short, I learned not to let the pain rule me, keep the loss of my professional life a precious memory, celebrating rather than mourning it.

I so much wish that everyone existing in a state of non-function for any reason, will be able to find that magic solution and discover that life is absolutely worth living. I still play my flute and now it’s just for fun. I’ve written a children’s book and am having a real adventure as an Indie Author. http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Adventures-SHELBY-SQUIRREL-Friends-ebook/dp/B00UY8VQOW/

One doesn’t have to discard one’s life philosophy to change in this way, it’s a simple matter of opening a door.