Have you ever noticed how often acronyms are used these days? They’re everywhere, in print and in person. No one says Royal Bank of Canada any more. It’s become RBC permanently. Of course, a great many are very familiar and have been around a long time. For instance NATO. Everyone knows what that means. And OPEC. Most people might not know what the letters actually mean but we all know it’s an alliance of a bunch of countries and something to do with oil.

The really long titles of organizations have become acronyms because it takes too long to say the whole thing all the time, but does anyone remember the original any more? Here in Niagara we have two NHS acronyms, one being Niagara Health System and the other being Niagara Health Sciences. Now isn’t that totally silly? They’re rivals, of course.

The acronyms that become pronounceable words are really daft, though. The widely used NIMBY and its counterpart PIMBY sound hilarious when you say them out loud. And all this creativity is simply to be able to say or write things more quickly. Well, I suppose it does serve to get a message across with more punch than writing it all out and reading five-word phrases! 

Since our society is becoming more and more antisocial, with the use of all the electronic gadgets, we are spending less and less time in personal contact with each other. Just imagine what it would be like to have a few choice acronyms which would speed us all on our separate ways.

At the grocery store it would expedite things if instead of saying, “Have a nice day” to every single person that goes through the checkout, the cashier could just say, “HAND!” The response would be, “TASTY!” which stands for, “Thanks and same to you!”

When you meet someone you know you could cut to the real conversation by having an opening exchange like this:

Person #1: “HAY?”.

Person #2: “IFTY! HAY?”

Person #1: “IFTY!”  (How Are You? I’m Fine Thank You!)

We all despair when the phone rings and it is a telephone solicitor. What does one say to convince the doggedly persistent caller that there will be absolutely no success at this number? There just is no response to, “NIDWI!!” repeated strenuously in his ear! Think of the arguing time it would save if everyone knew that NIDWI meant, “No, I Don’t Want It!”

The guy at the gas station would probably appreciate it if we all yelled, “FURP!” instead of making him stand there while we go through the whole schmear. Most of us would be saying, “Fill Up Regular, Please!” anyway.

So, HAND! And remember to LOL!!   Took me a while to know that doesn’t mean Lots Of Love!!



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