Eleanor Lawrie, Author

Have you ever agreed to that free month of Prime? And then cancelled it once your delivery arrived?

Yup, that’s what I did sometime late in 2022. And discovered I was still being charged for it months later when I checked my credit card bill. Prime isn’t $9.99 any more. It’s $20 and change! Per month!!

SO I called Amazon in the first week of February, 2023, and a polite agent fixed it all up for me. REALLY FIXED IT UP! HAH, some fix that was!

I was a TOTAL FOOL not to check immediately to see that things were copacetic.

I really don’t mean to infer that the agent might have been inebriated. In fact, I’m quite sure that wasn’t the case. BUT the mistake was COLOSSAL!!

When I did decide to order some copies using Amazon’s Print-on-Demand system, I discovered that NOT-SO-CLEVER agent had deleted both my personal account and my KDP account!

FUNNY? No, not at all!! I was FURIOUS! And over the next few weeks I discovered that rectifying the colossal mistake, which was NOT MY FAULT, was not going to be possible. And worse still, to add insult to injury, my books are still appearing if you type in ‘Shelby F. Squirrel’ or ‘Eleanor Lawrie’, and under each book it says ‘currently not available’.

I checked that out a couple of days ago.

Still there, but you can’t order them.

No, I’m not dead yet.

NO, I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS ‘TEMPORARY’ LOOK TO BE CREATED.

IT IS ABSOLUTE ROT! THEY ARE PERMANENTLY NOT AVAILABLE.

SO, what was I to do?

I washed my hands of Amazon. And decided to use another self-publishing platform.

First I inquired about Tellwell. Canadian, although they do print their books across the border in the USA. Very professionally presented, not pushy, by a rep who replied to my email. I have three books, right? Well, the price at Tellwell is minimum $1690 per book to get going. So I had to say ‘no’.

Then I actually did the work of uploading to Barnes and Noble. And got my W-8BEN to circumvent paying USA tax. All good. Then the WHAMMY!

KABLAM! Barnes and Noble doesn’t deliver to Canada!

THEY DO NOT DELIVER TO CANADA!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT????

But I had been encouraged to do all the work involved, having registered WITH A CANADIAN ADDRESS, but they DON’T DELIVER TO CANADA. Can you even fathom that? Of all the nerve! I did not find out until I tried to order that one copy that they recommend to make sure the printing is OK. Deleted everything and moved on.

Meanwhile, EONS of time are passing me by.

THANKS FOR NOTHING, AMAZON!! I HAVE NO KIND WORDS FOR YOU. NONE!

Bravely, I soldiered on and got all neatly ready to upload onto Ingram Spark. Indie Author friends: if you lived through that that process I have oceans of admiration for your fortitude. I gave up. If uploading was so damned complicated, what might I come up against when I wanted copies, or had to discuss any arrangements about placement etc? I couldn’t face it. Cancelled. Gone. Out of there.

And still I thought I could find the right set-up. Silly me. Imagine that. WHAT A TOTAL SAP I MUST BE!

Draft2Digital sound good? SO SIMPLE! Such promises. But guess what? THEY DO NOT PRINT IN COLOUR!!

Well, that did it for me. If that kind of insanity can exist with outfits set up to ‘help’ authors, I can do without them.

Enough punishment for somebody else’s mistake, I decided! ENOUGH ALREADY!!

I phoned a few printing companies and decided to go with with Printing Legacy in Toronto. No more depending on somebody else. I will keep a decent supply of SHELBY F. SQUIRREL books on hand, available to you, your friends, and family.

Stay tuned! SHELBY HASN’T CHANGED. HE is as ADORABLE, INCURABLY CURIOUS, and NAUGHTY as ever but always abjectly sorry for the trouble he causes his everloving mother and sister.

And he eagerly awaits the news that he will arrive in yet another home where a child will be read to from BOOK ONE, then enjoy those same stories again and again while learning to read independently.

Following the pattern established in BOOK ONE, which finds Shelby and friends have begun to grow up by the end of the book, in another year or so BOOKS TWO and THREE will take that child’s reading into a whole new dimension, as Shelby and his friends become responsible adolescents and face really big problems together. Yes, the plots and reading levels advance through The Shelby F. Squirrel Series, so your child grows with Shelby. Literally….

In BOOK TWO the forest animals face losing their homes, and it is only with carefully planned counterattacks, with everyone in the forest and on the farm taking part, that they beat the odds. For the ending, their victory is proven when a sign is posted at the edge of their beloved forest: FLYING SQUIRREL SANCTUARY.

Not to be shelved, BOOK THREE waits in the wings with the story of Virginia, and her beautiful white fur, who disappears one day while out playing with her brother, Edward. The mystery is solved with the help of a new friend, Nikita, a very clever dog who misses her litter mates and is delighted at the end of the book when she is reunited with all three of them. Along the way Shelby and Petra become parents, as do Peter and Darby. AND one of the babies has white fur like Virginia’s!

Imagine the opportunities for imparting all the wonderful aspects of love, family, companionship, community, joy, hope, victory, and celebration, to the young ones in your family, your classroom, or among your friends.

The SHELBY F. SQUIRREL Series. Books that grow with your child.

He sat regally, long neck arched, wings circling his body in a glorious display of long white feathers. And he could glide without a ripple along the surface of the water.

SHELBY GOES SWIMMING

It was finally full summer again. The whole world seemed to buzz with activity. Green and yellow fields lay under the smiling sun, and the days were so much longer it was no trouble at all finding time to play. On a lazy afternoon, Shelby and Marvin had gone searching for mushrooms in the woods, and found themselves on the far side where they had gone tobogganing not so very long ago.

They tumbled down the hill and raced across the flat field at the bottom, then stopped in their tracks as a tall white bird came running at them, wings flapping furiously.

“Shoo!” it shrieked in a honky voice. “Go away!” Then it proceeded to actually hiss at them, so they backed up a little and sat down in a bit of a shock.

The creature stopped hissing and waving and stood looking down at them. It stood on quite sturdy black legs and its feet were flat. The smallish head sat on the top of a long gracefully curving neck. Beady eyes, above a narrow orange beak, glared down at the two helpless friends.

“You better not stay around here!” the thing admonished them, “You’re nothing but trouble for us!”

“Please, Mr Bird, we were only having fun! Why can’t we play here?” Marvin got the nerve to speak up first.

“Bird? Bird?? I’m no ordinary bird. I will have you know I am a swan! Try to remember that. Swans are not ordinary birds, let me tell you!”

“Will you tell us about swans?” Shelby asked, finally finding his tongue. “We want to learn and we aren’t any trouble at all, honest!” And before he could stop himself he blurted, “You have the strangest feet I’ve ever seen!”

Mollified by the honest curiosity, the swan said in a much more civilized tone, “They’re for swimming, you silly thing! Don’t you know anything?” And with that he turned and strutted awkwardly away. It really seemed he was inviting them to follow so that’s what they did.

Through a few small shrubs the swan pushed, and went straight into the pond that sparkled on the other side. Instantly, he was transformed into the most beautiful sight either Shelby or Marvin had ever set eyes on. He sat regally, long neck arched, wings circling his body in a glorious display of long white feathers. And he could glide without a ripple along the surface of the water.

Shelby was so awed, he forgot to stop at the pond’s edge and he found himself suddenly in the water! He started to panic and splashed wildly around, only to succeed in getting more wet and further from the shore. Marvin stood watching with his heart in his mouth, not knowing what to do.

Shelby had swallowed a few mouthfuls and gone completely under by the time two swans nudged him toward the shore where he found his feet on the bottom and scrambled out spraying water everywhere. He sat down, shaking off the last drops and looked around for Marvin.

“If you want to swim,” he heard from nearby, “you need to calm down when you are in the water! You’ll float along just fine if you stop behaving like a windmill!”

Actually, the water had felt wonderfully cool after running in the heat of the day. So Shelby thought it over. He was still sitting on the bank when Marvin splashed toward him, laughing with glee. “Come on in! It’s easy, it really is!” and darted easily away toward the centre of the pond.

Shamed now, Shelby had to do something to show he was no coward. He stuck one foot in and then another and waded carefully forward. Marvin called out, “Just keep your feet moving and your nose up!” and to his utter surprise, Shelby found he was swimming. Not as gracefully as the swans but he was swimming nonetheless.

The two swans had gone off a short distance and now they were back with a whole long string of miniature swans behind them. The little ones were covered with fluffy gray down, but in every other way they were as beautiful as their courtly parents.

Soon, they had all made friends and spent the rest of the afternoon splashing in and out of the pond. Then Marvin and Shelby lay in the sun to let their fur dry off, and before very long drifted off to sleep. They were awakened by a hubbub of flapping and hissing. The two adult swans were out of the water facing a new animal. It was covered in a thick white coat, had a black face, small quivering ears and rather mild eyes that were looking none too happy.

“Baa-aa-a!” it bleated piteously at the swans, “it’s OK, please quiet down! I just got here today, so I don’t know my way around!” and the poor thing continued to shake under their haughty wrath.

Shelby jumped up and shouted, “Why don’t you try saying hello first? Maybe you can make a friend instead of scaring everyone off without knowing anything about them!” at which the swans looked a little surprised and stood together facing the new arrival.

“Well, then, hello and who are you?” the mother swan wanted to know.

“I’m a sheep! Well, actually, more like a lamb, and they call me Olive. I just came to this farm on a truck today with some other lambs. I don’t know how I got lost, but here I am, just trying to find the rest of the group I came with.” and she looked from side to side to wait for a reply.

The slightly embarrassed swans apologized for over-reacting and wished Olive a good day, then hastily made their way back to the pond where their babies were cowering together waiting.

Shelby said to Olive, “If you need to go to where the barn is we can help. We’ve lived here for almost a year now, so we know most of the animals too.”

They set off together, heading back towards the barn. Marvin hopped on Shelby’s back for a while, but was quite content to jog along on his own too. Olive wasn’t in a particular hurry. She took her time explaining that her coat would be growing all the next winter and it would be sheared in the spring for making wool.

Soon they were joined by three more young sheep, who had been turned loose in the orchard, and were contentedly grazing on the lush grass, in company with Billy and his two ladies, Nanny and Capra. Olive was so happy to be back with the others, she fairly leaped with joy.

She called after Shelby, “I hope you will come to talk soon! Thanks for helping.”

And Shelby knew he had grown up a bit more because he was just happy to do something nice for no reason at all.

If I could be oblivious,

just once in a while,

I think it would be marvellous

to be put under a spell

that would let me be unaware

and take my mind away somewhere

to a bliss of nothing

a dream of not doing

a freedom of not knowing

a joy of not feeling

anything

2017

Suddenly it’s summer! I am partial to silliness; not so very far from John Cleese’s style. To get back into business on my humble blog, here is a poem:

SUMMERTIME

I do not wait with bated breath for summer;

For me it can be something of a bummer!

The warmth is lovely but the heat is hellish,

The humidex is something I don’t relish!

When winter ends we’re all so very happy,

But allergies soon make me feel plain crappy!

The weather may be perfect but it beats me;

The sudden change from cold to hot defeats me!

The world is just so quiet when it’s snowing,

Then summer comes and all the lawns need mowing,

Of course, the work is done with power mowers

And then our ears are treated to leaf blowers!

We do enjoy the cool night air for sleeping,

But when the skunks go by we feel like weeping!

The bird songs all around are really pretty,

But the splatters on my car are not confetti!

One must admit it’s nice to dress so lightly,

But then we see too much that is unsightly!

We’re wearing clothes to suit the summer breezes,

Then sit in restaurants that are deep-freezes!

While summer has its moments, it’s too crazy,

I feel a lot more sane when fall gets hazy!

Eleanor Lawrie, June 13, 2010

Eleanor Lawrie

• 

Last night I watched a silver moon

in triumph floating fine and free

I felt as though it looked at me.

*

You touched my heart, O lovely sphere

and spoke to me of hurt and pain;

the world’s dilemmas filled my brain.

*

How does that moon consider us?

Our human frailties, wars and greed?

Please give more love, it seemed to plead.

*

I sat and mused until the dawn

when hope renewed shone golden, bright

and knew my days would be alright.

*

The moon knows I can do my part:

Life is so short but while I’m here

I will smile and spread good cheer.

*

Photobykira

I still have trouble being like the puffin.

It’s OK to do what we can, and be happy about it. Isn’t it?

Today the minimum was forced on me. That’s not something I can change. What I am realizing, gradually and reluctantly, is to be thankful for anything and everything.

So I’m jumping into my bed.

And will enjoy my Michael Connelly novel.

Thank you, little puffin.

White Lace on a Pale Green Ground

The breeze creates a rippling tide

of Queen Anne’s Lace from side to side;

the lovely tops design a spread

more beautiful than any bed.

***

The grass beneath is pale and dry,

through heat and drought it does not die.

The flowers come but once a year,

a welcome sight that’s held most dear.

***

But not to last for, to my dread,

the mowers cut them, every head!

How bare, how stark the meadow lay,

its graceful blanket torn away.

***

Ah! Now I wait another year

for fragile blooms to reappear.

All winter long, beneath the snow

the Queen Anne’s Lace prepares to grow!

***

The cruel blade it will defy

when August comes with sunny sky;

the sweet white lace will then be found

Garlanding the pale green ground.

***

Eleanor Lawrie

August 16, 2011

MY DUVET

At long, long last the summer’s gone, the blazing heat has died away;

the sun is warm, the sky is blue, a lovely early autumn day.

The nights are cold, the air is crisp: some folk would greet this with dismay;

but if you need to look for me, you’ll find me wrapped in my duvet!

***

It’s been too hot for far too long, there’s been no energy to play;

but now I can enjoy the time, for even if the skies are gray

I’m snug inside, with all I need. And please forgive an old cliché,

but come what may, come rain or shine, I’m comfy wrapped in my duvet!

***

When winter comes with driven snow, and skiers need the warm chalet,

the breath will freeze upon our lips, the cold’s hard grip will have its way.

I’ll just stay put and have with joy a day to sit back and crochet!

My toes are warm, and my knees too, they’re all wrapped up in my duvet!

***

Then in the new year will come spring, the days grow warmer; April, May,

will bring the birds, the trees in bud, flowers burst forth in bright display.

But nights will keep their brisk, chill air; and onward, tomorrow and today,

you know where I will take myself : to bed wrapped up in my duvet!

Eleanor Lawrie

September 18, 2012

Writers Forum decided to experiment and thought HAIKU would be fun. Here are my decidedly amateurish attempts:

#1

Heavy gale winds

Many-coloured leaves flying

Teeming ladybugs

#2

Life’s a mystery

Youth blooms, its pleasures abound

Old age always wins

#3

The keyboard beckons

Methinks this is forever

Be damned, writers’ block!

#4

Her sweet babyhood

Barely a glimpse in the past

Now she’s fifty-one!

We are living in rather troubled times as we enter a new year.

When I think of all the issues, the one that stands out is bullying. Bullying is a lot like racism. It is built on lack of knowledge, unwillingness to give in, deciding someone is inferior when the truth is that there is just a superficial difference between the bully and the ‘bullied’.  The difference really doesn’t matter, if only the bully would stop and think about it.

‘Where is Virginia?’ is the third book in the SHELBY F. SQUIRREL series. We learn that Virginia has disappeared in the first chapter. Her family is new to the Flying Squirrel Sanctuary, having moved because of the terrible bullying that Virginia was dealing with. The reason for it? Her fur is pure white!!

The SHELBY F. SQUIRREL Series, Book Three